I have often had those thoughts that no one is supposed to have, or wants to admit. I am guessing lots of parents, especially of special needs children, have felt the same. Thoughts like "at least if he died, I would have relief" or the temptation of just abandoning him to someone else. Feeling your child to be a burden, one you did not ask for. Resenting his demands on your life, time, and energy. Wishing him gone by some means. And all the while knowing, this is not a good thing to be thinking, yet the thoughts occur to you.
The Lord has kindly freed me from that mentality, hopefully in a lasting way, by showing me the natural outworking of it. "If you were to abandon your child, what then?" Then I could never face Him in peace again. I would have been saying, "I am not willing to submit to You in this. I am not willing to accept what comes from Your hand. Your strength and grace are not enough for this trial. I choose to abdicate my responsibilities rather than to remain Your servant."
I had to choose Jesus, and my trial, or neither of them. They went together.
For any trial in which God does not give us a legitimate way of escape, this must be true. To abandon my God-given duty - to get out of difficulty by some unbiblical means - is to abandon my faith. It is to tell Jesus that although everything I need for life and godliness is found in Him, He does not have sufficient resources to help me in this case. It is to tell the world that my faith is a fraud, and that my Savior is not really strong enough to bear me through the trials He puts me in.
Being faithful under fire is not optional. If you will have Jesus, you must take everything He gives you. To escape by means He has not appointed will take away your peace and your greatest treasure - unhindered fellowship with your God.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Be faithful unto death!
Rev.12:11, "And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."
The purpose of a Christian living yet in this world, is to point people to Jesus - Jesus, their indescribably wonderful Savior and King! To show others that Jesus is the thing they value above everything else. That He is worth giving up everything else to gain. That He is worth serving with all my being, as a living sacrifice!
How could we possibly do this in a life in which we have no need to give up anything for Jesus' sake? This is why "all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2Tim.3:12). If there were no persecution, if there were nothing to sacrifice for His sake, how would we show Jesus to be our treasure above all else?
Our goal here is not, to make everyone think well of us, as though by doing so they would be attracted to Jesus. Our goal is to make much of Christ, to have people think well of HIM, to show them His beauty and glory and love and justice. To be totally His, sold out for Him, known as those who "serve their God continually" like Daniel.
This is why the lot of the Church in this world is not one of dominance, but of being persecuted. It is God's planned way for His worth to be proclaimed, as His people value Him above all else, at great cost to themselves. His word to us is not, "preserve your life at all cost" but rather "Do not fear what you are about to suffer. ... Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life." (Rev.2:10).
Friday, February 8, 2013
Playing at Christianity
It is not that you can be a good moral person, and tack on Christianity in order to get to Heaven. Jesus did not come for the purpose of giving good people a ride to Heaven. He died to make sinners His servants. It is impossible to follow Jesus AND to live your moments for your own pleasures. You can only have one master. He died so that we would live for Him, not for ourselves. Those who love anything ("my" time, "my" indulgences) more than Jesus are not worthy of Him. You have to leave everything behind, to lose your life for Jesus, in order to gain Him.
So every moment should be, "what would please Jesus for me to do right now?"
Every dollar should be, "how would Jesus like me to use this?"
We make so many excuses, rationalize so many things. "I just need to relax at the end of the day." "One more portion of food won't hurt anything." "I need to check the news / email / facebook one more time." We treat bad habits as things we are victims of, rather than face them for what they are: my own unwillingness to live that part of my life for Jesus rather than for myself. We act as though we can live Christian lives, but on our own terms.
Radical Christianity is supposed to be the norm. It is what full followers of Jesus are. And He accepts no partial disciples, none who need to "first go and do .... and then follow." He calls us to count the cost, to forsake all, to carry the cross, to deny ourselves, to submit every moment of our lives to His use.
To do otherwise is to play at Christianity at the cost of your soul.
Let us not be like the rich young ruler, sad that it costs so much to follow Jesus and unwilling to pay that cost.
Matt.10:37-39 "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Lk.14:26-35 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish. ’ ... So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. Salt is good, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is of no use either for the soil or for the manure pile. It is thrown away. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Phil.3:7-9 "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him..."
Matt.16:24-27 "Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done."
Mk.10:17-31 "And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother. ’” And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing:go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. And Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” And the disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said to them again, “Children, how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” And they were exceedingly astonished, and said to him, “Then who can be saved?” Jesus looked at them and said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God.” Peter began to say to him, “See, we have left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Facebook posts - January 2013
For those of you who don't read my facebook entries, here are some of the things posted recently:
-----------------------
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him!
(Psalms 103:11)
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Through the blood of Christ, we can "serve the living God"! (Hebrews 9:14). What an amazing privilege!
----------------------
----------------------
Special Needs Children From God:
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2010/07/children-with-disabilities-perfect-for-us.html
---------------------
My experience is that the absence of firm prior resolve results in regular rationalization. Like when to go to bed, etc. (quote from John Piper)
----------------------
He didn't say, "tolerate it with grim determination", but rather:
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds... Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:2,12)
----------------------
http://connect2thevine.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/the-questions-should-rather-be-j-r-miller/
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God chooses what is foolish, and weak, and low, and depised in the world, to display His glory and to shame the wise and strong, that no one should boast except in Him. (1Cor.1:27-31). God values even the severely disabled: He made them; they are in His image; and in them He can display His glory more than in those who think themselves wise and strong. He loves dependence.
---------------------
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:2-3). May the works of God then be displayed!
----------------------
Ian and Larissa. Read their story if you have not done so. http://prayforian.blogspot.com/p/our-writing.html?m=0
-------------
An abortion proponent agrees that life begins at conception, but holds that an unwanted baby is "a life worth sacrificing." Surely by this reasoning, any other inconvenient life is also worth sacrificing - the disabled, the elderly, the terminally ill - for the convenience of those who would otherwise be bothered by them. This is why every human life must be valued, especially by Christians. Otherwise no one has value once they become an inconvenience. "You knitted me together in my mother's womb" (Psalms 139:13) - this is no less true once they are old and infirm. Every human life must be valued, or else none can be.
http://theaquilareport.com/feminist-says-baby-is-a-life-worth-sacrificing/
-----------------------
-----------------------
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him!
(Psalms 103:11)
----------------------
Through the blood of Christ, we can "serve the living God"! (Hebrews 9:14). What an amazing privilege!
----------------------
Krista Horning's testimony (partial transcript):
Krista began her testimony with these words: “People ask me how I live with disability. How do I live with disability? …For me, disability is the deep hurt and shame that says I am not accepted. Disability says ugly things to me. It tells me I am alone. I am different. I am worthless. I am weak. It tells me my life is hopeless. Disability lies to me and sometimes it is easy to listen and believe. Sometimes I don’t want to live with disability. Sometimes I don’t want to be who God made me to be. [But] God tells me the truth. So I keep listening to Him. He opens the eyes of my heart and I believe. I trust Him and His words. God says beautiful things to me. Listen.”
God tells me He is in control of everything in the world, including my disability, all of our disabilities (Exodus 4:11).
God tells me I am not alone (Isaiah 43:1-3).
God tells me He will always help me (Psalm 121:1-8).
God tells me He has called me for His purpose (Romans 8:28).
God tells me that nothing in this world is greater than knowing Him (Philippians 3:8-10).
God tells me He is more interested in my heart than my outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7).
God tells me He gave His only Son for my sins (Isaiah 53:4-5).
God tells me He has a special plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11).
God tells me He is changing me to be more like Him (2 Corinthians 3:18).
God tells me nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39).
God tells me His grace is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
God tells me I have hope (Romans 5:3-5, 8).
God tells me He is good (Psalm 34:1-5, 8).
God tells me this life with disability is short, but I will spend forever with Him (2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 16-18).
Krista’s testimony then closes with these powerful words:
For now I live with disability.
Disability still says ugly things to me.
Disability is a part of this broken sin-filled world.
But God has so many beautiful things to say.
And so I’m filled with hope.
God’s words grow louder and louder in my life.
The glory of his grace and mercy grow stronger and stronger.
I need to listen to his words.
I want to listen to his words.
God’s words change everything.
God’s beautiful words have changed my life.
And that is how I live with disability.
http://theworksofgod.com/2012/11/20/gods-beautiful-words-have-changed-my-life-krista-horning/
Krista began her testimony with these words: “People ask me how I live with disability. How do I live with disability? …For me, disability is the deep hurt and shame that says I am not accepted. Disability says ugly things to me. It tells me I am alone. I am different. I am worthless. I am weak. It tells me my life is hopeless. Disability lies to me and sometimes it is easy to listen and believe. Sometimes I don’t want to live with disability. Sometimes I don’t want to be who God made me to be. [But] God tells me the truth. So I keep listening to Him. He opens the eyes of my heart and I believe. I trust Him and His words. God says beautiful things to me. Listen.”
God tells me He is in control of everything in the world, including my disability, all of our disabilities (Exodus 4:11).
God tells me I am not alone (Isaiah 43:1-3).
God tells me He will always help me (Psalm 121:1-8).
God tells me He has called me for His purpose (Romans 8:28).
God tells me that nothing in this world is greater than knowing Him (Philippians 3:8-10).
God tells me He is more interested in my heart than my outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7).
God tells me He gave His only Son for my sins (Isaiah 53:4-5).
God tells me He has a special plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11).
God tells me He is changing me to be more like Him (2 Corinthians 3:18).
God tells me nothing can separate me from His love (Romans 8:38-39).
God tells me His grace is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
God tells me I have hope (Romans 5:3-5, 8).
God tells me He is good (Psalm 34:1-5, 8).
God tells me this life with disability is short, but I will spend forever with Him (2 Corinthians 4:7-10, 16-18).
Krista’s testimony then closes with these powerful words:
For now I live with disability.
Disability still says ugly things to me.
Disability is a part of this broken sin-filled world.
But God has so many beautiful things to say.
And so I’m filled with hope.
God’s words grow louder and louder in my life.
The glory of his grace and mercy grow stronger and stronger.
I need to listen to his words.
I want to listen to his words.
God’s words change everything.
God’s beautiful words have changed my life.
And that is how I live with disability.
http://theworksofgod.com/2012/11/20/gods-beautiful-words-have-changed-my-life-krista-horning/
http://counselingoneanother.com/2012/11/23/truth-that-shatter-the-lies-of-disability/
----------------------
Special Needs Children From God:
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2010/07/children-with-disabilities-perfect-for-us.html
---------------------
My experience is that the absence of firm prior resolve results in regular rationalization. Like when to go to bed, etc. (quote from John Piper)
----------------------
He didn't say, "tolerate it with grim determination", but rather:
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds... Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:2,12)
----------------------
http://connect2thevine.wordpress.com/2013/01/24/the-questions-should-rather-be-j-r-miller/
------------------------
God chooses what is foolish, and weak, and low, and depised in the world, to display His glory and to shame the wise and strong, that no one should boast except in Him. (1Cor.1:27-31). God values even the severely disabled: He made them; they are in His image; and in them He can display His glory more than in those who think themselves wise and strong. He loves dependence.
---------------------
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:2-3). May the works of God then be displayed!
----------------------
Ian and Larissa. Read their story if you have not done so. http://prayforian.blogspot.com/p/our-writing.html?m=0
-------------
An abortion proponent agrees that life begins at conception, but holds that an unwanted baby is "a life worth sacrificing." Surely by this reasoning, any other inconvenient life is also worth sacrificing - the disabled, the elderly, the terminally ill - for the convenience of those who would otherwise be bothered by them. This is why every human life must be valued, especially by Christians. Otherwise no one has value once they become an inconvenience. "You knitted me together in my mother's womb" (Psalms 139:13) - this is no less true once they are old and infirm. Every human life must be valued, or else none can be.
http://theaquilareport.com/feminist-says-baby-is-a-life-worth-sacrificing/
-----------------------
Monday, January 21, 2013
Changes
Our family is in a time of transitions, changes.
New van (to us), acquired last week, to accommodate Peter's new special stroller (on loan to us)
New roof on our house (today - an army of guys banging away!)
Possibility of a job change for David within the same company
Hopeful prospect of building a different house sometime this year, God willing
Likelihood of putting the children in school rather than homeschooling, so I can focus on Peter's therapy for the next year. A great little Christian school (Bradford Academy) meets in our church facility, and we would be happy to have our kids there. There is a sadness in giving up homeschooling (at least for a time). Yet I feel like I have already said goodbye to homeschooling and am just eager to finish out the year and be done now. I think that's because the burden of getting Peter progressing in development, if possible, outweighs the desire to homeschool. It overshadows a lot of things, and it woud be easier to not have to have the responsibility of homeschooling right now.
New van (to us), acquired last week, to accommodate Peter's new special stroller (on loan to us)
New roof on our house (today - an army of guys banging away!)
Possibility of a job change for David within the same company
Hopeful prospect of building a different house sometime this year, God willing
Likelihood of putting the children in school rather than homeschooling, so I can focus on Peter's therapy for the next year. A great little Christian school (Bradford Academy) meets in our church facility, and we would be happy to have our kids there. There is a sadness in giving up homeschooling (at least for a time). Yet I feel like I have already said goodbye to homeschooling and am just eager to finish out the year and be done now. I think that's because the burden of getting Peter progressing in development, if possible, outweighs the desire to homeschool. It overshadows a lot of things, and it woud be easier to not have to have the responsibility of homeschooling right now.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Stromboli
One of our favorite meals currently: Stromboli. Kind of like pizza folded up. We do the dough in the bread machine, but I'm sure you could just mix it by hand and let it rise in the bowl. This recipe is from "The Bread Machine Cookbook II" by Donna German.
Stromboli
1 cup + 3 tbsp. water
2 tbsp. butter
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
1 1/2 tsp. sugar
3 cups bread flour (I do up to 1/2 whole wheat)
2 1/2 tsp. yeast
When the dough is ready, roll it out into a big rectangle (I divide it in two and put half in each cookie sheet / jelly roll pan, then make each half into a rectangle).
Put your ingredients down the middle third of the rectangle so they run the length of it. Our favorite is ham and sausage with cheese. Some people put pizza sauce on their filling as well before closing it up - we just pour sauce on top after it is cooked, for those who want sauce.
Fold one side of the dough over the filling, then the other side, to meet in the middle (or overlap some). Pinch together, and pinch ends closed.
Turn it over (seam-side down) in the pan, and brush the top with olive oil.
Let rise 30 minutes. (Preheat your oven during this time).
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until done.
Stromboli
1 cup + 3 tbsp. water
2 tbsp. butter
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. coarsely ground black pepper
1 1/2 tsp. sugar
3 cups bread flour (I do up to 1/2 whole wheat)
2 1/2 tsp. yeast
When the dough is ready, roll it out into a big rectangle (I divide it in two and put half in each cookie sheet / jelly roll pan, then make each half into a rectangle).
Put your ingredients down the middle third of the rectangle so they run the length of it. Our favorite is ham and sausage with cheese. Some people put pizza sauce on their filling as well before closing it up - we just pour sauce on top after it is cooked, for those who want sauce.
Fold one side of the dough over the filling, then the other side, to meet in the middle (or overlap some). Pinch together, and pinch ends closed.
Turn it over (seam-side down) in the pan, and brush the top with olive oil.
Let rise 30 minutes. (Preheat your oven during this time).
Bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes or until done.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Abiding in Jesus
"The true Christian "abides in God". He lives in constant daily dependence on Him, relying on Him for life and fruitfulness and everything. Seeking Him daily for everything. Depending on Him daily for everything. Having Him at the center of all our feelings and thoughts and actions. He is everything to us, and we can't live without Him!" (Andy Dunkerton)
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