waiting children

they are the ones we turn away from
or stare at in the store
imperfect
defective
disabled and more

waiting to be loved
by someone forever
waiting for parents
who won't leave them ever

so many
with problems
with so many needs


why is it
that we turn our faces away
hope someone else
will love them someday

is adoption then only
for our selfish reasons

would we only choose a child
expected to be "normal"
who would not be
an inconvenience
would not be
one of the weird ones
the needy, the helpless,
dependent ones

yet if God had them
be born to us
we would love them
we would care for them
we would do our best for them
no matter what


who will love them?
who will take the thousands
of waiting children
many of them undesired -
teenagers, "too old, too hard" -
they wish for families too...
babies, born with special needs
might never walk or talk with you...


what then does it mean
to care for the orphan
if we turn away
from the neediest

what does it mean
to show God's love
if we are not willing
to love them

for we are imperfect
defective
disabled by sin
yet the Father
with costly love
took us in

we were more
than an inconvenience to Him

we've been adopted
without being desirable
without being normal

yet He is not embarrassed
to call us His children
not ashamed to claim us as His own
through unconditional love

O God
make us like You
show us ourselves
give us hearts to love
the unlovely
to the glory of God


http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?p=10545

http://www.adoptuskids.org/Child/ChildSearch.aspx (and do a search for age 6 as the oldest age).

humble pie...

... is when you eat your words. I now have what I was proud my other kids were not: a "paci" child, who also likes to be rocked to sleep. He doesn't do well putting himself to sleep yet...

time in the hospital

Well, Peter Joseph was born on April 25, the day after my birthday. He spent 10 days in the hospital NICU due to sporadic breathing & oxygenation problems. Well, the last 5 days were just observation to see if his problems had resolved themselves. We thank the Lord that he seems to be fine now, is home like a normal newborn, and has been cleared to be off the apnea monitor as well.

Being in the hospital almost 24/7 is another world. Not being aware of the weather outside, except to notice if it rained or not. Not much aware of news going on either. Just the NICU; washing up before you go in; walking down to see how Peter's doing today; pumping milk so that the nurses have something to feed him when I go home at night. Waiting to see when we can go home. Glad when we would check in to find that nothing else had come up overnight with the baby, that he had had a good night with no "events".

While we were there, April turned into May. The pea plants in the garden doubled in height. Jeff learned to put on his own shoes, and all the kids got practice brushing and even flossing their own teeth. My Mom held down the fort with them at home while we were gone, and David's mom helped out as well, taking the kids to have time at her house to give my Mom a break.

We were very happy to get to come home on May 4th, and be home for Jeff's 3rd birthday on May 5. And to have the pediatrician tell us on May 6th that we didn't really need to keep using the apnea monitor! (since Peter had been fine for a week at that point).

God has been so good to us! "The future still unknown..." but God knows it from beginning to end.

thank God for your kids

when I pity myself
I go read the blog
by Oliver
and Waverly's mom

her children slowly
lose all their skills
now Wavey can't talk
Oliver never will

so when my children
talk so much
"eat up their words" she says
to watch her children
slowly die
is bitterness through the years

the LORD is on our side!

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people...

You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on You,
because he trusts in You.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.

the LORD [is] on our side...
Our help is in the name of the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.

(Ps.125:1-2; Is.26:3-4; 124:1,8; 127:3.)

my Maker

Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.

(Psalm 121:1b-2; 139:13-14; 138:8)

The Gospel

Tullian Tchividjian has written two recent blog posts that I found very helpful:

In one he quotes B.B.Warfield:
"There is nothing in us or done by us, at any stage of our earthly development, because of which we are acceptable to God. We must always be accepted for Christ’s sake, or we cannot ever be accepted at all. This is not true of us only when we believe. It is just as true after we have believed."
http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tullian/2011/03/08/the-gospel-is-for-christians/


In the other he speaks of being "addicted to the gospel":

I’m addicted to the gospel. It burns inside of me. And it seems to get hotter ever day...
My passion has become singular. Lesser things don’t distract me as easily. I’m not as anxious as I used to be. I don’t fret over things as much. I’m more relaxed. What others think of me (either good or bad) doesn’t matter as much as it used to. I’m enjoying life more. The pressure’s off. I actually think I’m beginning to understand the length and breadth of the freedom Jesus purchased for me.

Jesus plus nothing equals everything–the gospel– is daily becoming for me more than a theological passion, more than a cognitive reality. It’s becoming my functional lifeline! And it’s this rediscovery of the gospel’s power that is enabling me to see that,

Because Jesus was strong for me, I am free to be weak;
Because Jesus won for me, I am free to lose;
Because Jesus was Someone, I am free to be no one;
Because Jesus was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary;
Because Jesus succeeded for me, I am free to fail.

This is beginning to define my life in brand new, bright, and liberating ways...

• The banner under which Christians live reads “It is finished.”
• Only when you realize that the gospel has nothing to do with your obedience but Christ’s obedience for you, will you start to obey!
• At no point in time, either before God saves you or after, does your behavior determine God’s love for you.
• Our improvement comes from God’s approval; God’s approval does not come from our improvement.

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tullian/2011/03/03/im-addicted/
(Go read the whole post!)