which is which?

Here are Katherine and Emily. See if you can tell who is who...

Waverly

Waverly
I saw a little girl on a show
Named Waverly
Her body lacks an enzyme
And it's slowly killing her
And there's nothing they can do
To make her well...

----------------------

First the excitement of another little one
On its way
our scheduled ultrasound comes one day
happy to find out that it's a boy
so Jeff can play...
Doctor comes in and says I have bad news today
Though all his body's fine
There seems to be a problem with his brain

and so we go away
to wait a test on another day
trusting that God knows
glad that his condition doesn't seem too grave

2 months later and we do another scan
things are worse now than when they began
too much fluid, brain too small
still don't see corpus callosum at all
expect your child to be delayed
no one can tell how mild or grave

O God please help me love this child
he isn't what we wanted
defective kids -
to other people are appointed

and so I grieved
the loss of dreams
of all those expectations
and tried to trust
the God I love
and His perfect intentions

two days later at the park
down at the outlet mall
"Waverly - it's time to go!"
a child's name was called

and I remembered Waverly
the girl they cannot save
and God whispered, "Remember,
they expect your child to live."

---

whoever you are
whoever you will become
I love you now
I bid you welcome

you will be our own
like all the rest
you will be our joy
not just a test
and by God's grace
we'll do our best

O may you come to know Him
to know the love of God
the Jesus who can save you
no matter what you're not
and He will be your helper
to lift you when you fall
to wrap His arms around us
to be our All in all


3-6-2011

Your hands have made me....

Most who happen to read this will be aware by now that our baby, due on April 25, has some brain abnormalities, and the doctors can't tell much more till after he's born, as far as what they are and how they might affect his life. We thank God that there appears to be nothing wrong in the rest of the body, which makes it a much lower likelihood to be a chromosomal (and possibly fatal) condition, as those are usually accompanied by other problems with other organs. They can't rule that out, but it makes it more unlikely... and more likely that the baby might "just" have developmental problems as opposed to that plus additional medical issues. He is giving us grace to trust Him for His perfect plans, though sometimes it's a fight for faith.

Your hands

Your hands have made and fashioned me;
give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.

Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice,
because I have hoped in your word.

I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous,
and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.

Let your steadfast love comfort me
according to your promise to your servant.

Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
for your law is my delight.

Ps.119:73-77

to count for something

I read the stories of women now widowed because their husbands were killed by those who hate Christians. Or who are imprisoned for speaking truth to their Muslim friends about the Messiah.

I see the pictures of those who have gone far away, giving up everything in America, to reach the nations for Jesus. And the blog posts of those who have given up much in order to show compassion to the orphan.

And what have I done? I want to count for something more than living focused on myself, my family, my little world. I want to have fruit for Heaven. I want to live in some more sacrificial way than my life here tends to. Something for Jesus.

Is it just so I can say, "here Jesus, I did something for You"? That wouldn't be worth much. He doesn't want me thinking I've done good works and therefore have something to offer, when His work is all I should be boasting in.

But I want to live for something more than my little world, to do something that counts for eternity! Surely God does not put his children in a place where they cannot bear real fruit.

Show me Jesus. Fix my eyes on Him. Attach me to the Vine, without whom I can do nothing; that I might focus on Him and thus bear much fruit...

kids growing

So today I was instant messaging with David and his mom on two different IM screens, while it was time for lunch. While I was busy, Emily (having been offered her choice of bread for a sandwich), decided to make her own. She found a bun, deli meat and cheese, a cutting board and knife. She made herself a sandwich and then cut it in half, and informed me that she had made her sandwich, and could she start eating??

In the meantime, I got off the computer and came to rally everyone for lunch, and Jeff had disappeared. I found him in the pack-n-play (where he still takes a nap). He had gone to the pantry and gotten out the 2-step stepstool we keep there, and put it up next to his bed so he could climb in. So there he was, lying down and with his blanket on his head (his best effort at getting it on top of himself). He thought it was funny, and so did I. I guess he was ready for a nap. I did get him to come eat some lunch first though.

Emily asked if she could have some bread with cinnamon sugar on it, so I said yes, after your sandwich is done. So while I was helping Jeff get ready for a nap, she found a piece of bread, cut it in half, and got her cinnamon sugar on it. My big girl... and not afraid to try doing things herself. She even likes to try cutting up apples herself, with a sharp knife (though I watch with fear of her cutting herself... but I guess that's how I learned once too). She's not too bad at cutting it in pieces, though she might still want me to get the core parts out.

The other day, I lay down for a nap late, and Jeff woke up from his nap not long after that. So I got him up, and Katherine asked why I was up already. I said, because Jeff is up. Katherine wants to be the big girl too. She said, "I can take care of Jeff, and help him go potty, and get him a snack. You can go lie down again." So I did.

all I really need

Amid all my thoughts, wonderings, worries, questions, running about -
this is all I really need:

"Be still, and know that I am God...
The Lord of hosts is with us!
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved..."

"You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."

(Psalm 46:10,11,1,5; Is.26:3-4)