"I'm little!"

I had recently told Emily that I couldn't carry her around much or hold her much (unless I'm sitting down) because she's too big. Today she said, "Hold me because ... I'm little!"

rolling and teething

Jeff is rolling around, often getting to places where I didn't put him. It's fun to see a little mobility.

He's also teething. It didn't bother Emily when she was teething - she has a high pain tolerance. She's very laid back too, but I guess laid back doesn't mean you get a high pain tolerance to go with it. Jeff is fussy lately, but at least it does appear to be teething and not sickness.

tangible things

I think one reason I like to make drawstring bags is that the result is something nice (I've always liked drawstring bags, even as a child), and it is still just as nice the next day. Something tangible that lasts longer than the meal I made for our supper or the laundry just folded or the neatened living room.

Tangible things are also nice because it is easy to see if you are doing it right or not. Parenting is intangible, unique to each child - and my finite mind does not fully understand the personality and thinking of each child, nor have the wisdom to know how to raise them. My best judgment is only that, and there is often second-guessing. I can't see if it was right, or could be better, like I can with sewing.

On the other hand, the tangible is the temporary. Drawstring bags will perish with the earth, but my child has an undying soul, and in some mysterious way, my efforts to train my child will have everlasting impact, for good or evil. There is permanency to that which is intangible.

"For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18)

time flies

weeks fly into years
where did they go
how did they grow
     so fast

end of a weary day
oh! did I even say
     I love you
must be a better way
     to make it through

before the years
     are past
and I've lost
     my chance
to be a mommy to you

where to the seasons fly
so many years pass by
and did I even say
     I love you

Devastation in Haiti

Devastation in Haiti
Samaritan's Purse in Haiti

and what can you do
when everything is gone
and there is nothing left
nothing to return to
nowhere to go from here
and all you have is tears

children are gone
they couldn't hang on
and the waters swept them away...

and my light and momentary troubles
are exposed for what they are
my needs and sorrows
shown to be so small

how can you close your eyes
turn the page and say good-bye
send the images away
hope it will turn out okay
"go be warmed and filled"
I hope somebody will
go help and comfort you
but I've got other things to do

good-byes

Someday in Heaven there will be no good-byes
no more silent cries
no more going away
until another day
no more good-byes

do you ever wonder if it's worth the pain
to love a lot
only to have to leave again?

...yet I gain more than I've lost
it's always worth the cost

David's in Canada

David is in Canada with all his immediate family, and his parents, for his Granny's 90th birthday celebration. It's only for a few days - he left yesterday (Thursday) and should be back Sunday night.

I just wasn't prepared for the overwhelming loneliness. I've gone on plenty of trips with the kids by myself, with David being the one to stay home, but rarely has he had to go on a trip and leave us here. My trips always involve visiting family and friends, so though I'm not with David, I'm not all alone either.

I have much sympathy for the wives of men who have to travel a lot (or even a little) for their jobs, leaving them home alone with the children. I don't know how they do it. For believers, God must give grace to handle one day at a time.

Even though I'm usually home with the kids all day, and David is at work, I still get to see him in the morning and evening, and often for lunch. But to know that I can't do that for several days... It reminds me of grief, a thing that could so easily swallow you up and keep you from being faithful in your necessary duties of the day. I'm glad that when he goes on his business trip next week (Lord willing), his parents will be back in town, and maybe we can go to their house for supper some nights.