When will I ever learn that spiritual growth is not a result of my trying harder - but rather a happy by-product of looking to Jesus? Plants do not grow by looking at themselves and saying, "Grow, grow, grow!" but by reaching out their leaves and lifting up their heads to the sun, to catch its warmth and light. Christians do not grow by looking at their failures and determining to do better, but by becoming as it were, intoxicated with Jesus, enraptured by Him, filled with such a wonder at His mercy, His righteousness, His love for them, that they cannot help but to become like Him.
This is the answer to so much of my struggle: not to promise to do better, nor to drown in my guilt, but to revel in the grace and love of Jesus who died for me, and so to love Him more. The sum of all the commandments really is, to love God with all that you are, and to love your neighbor as yourself. If you do those things, you will be keeping all God's law, without focusing on keeping it. Righteousness was never meant to be attained by keeping the law ("...Israel, pursuing the law of righteousness, has not attained to the law of righteousness. Why? Because they did not seek it by faith, but as it were, by the works of the law." (Rom.9:31-32)). It was meant to be by faith ("now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed... even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe." (Rom.3:21-22)).
To live in Jesus! This is the answer.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
this 'n' that
We have some new fish in our fish tank now. Seems it's finally a stable tank, where our fish don't keep dying - yay! So now we have 1 plecostomus, 4 cory catfish, 4 zebra danios, 4 long-fin blue danios, 3 rasbora boraptensis, 2 red wag platies, and 2 marigold platies. And lots of nice live plants, thanks to our friend Liz who gave us some from her well-planted tank. So we at least have a start on populating a 55-gallon fish tank. Maybe the platies will have babies...
Our weather in March has been, well, March weather. Today we had a high of 84 F at least. Tomorrow the low is supposed to be at least 39 F. Then back up to at least 60's Friday. I'm glad for the moderate weather, and that we've had a real spring so far. Some years it seems to jump from winter (such as we have here in central NC) to summer. Of course, spring brings beautiful flowering trees - which don't help David's allergies. He loves the warm weather, but has a hard time being outside for long with all the pollen in the air, especially as we haven't had a lot of rain.
2 sick kids today. Emily's just a little stuffy, and Katherine's more than a little stuffy. Thankfully they've been in fairly good spirits so far, not the miserable sick that prompts me to give Motrin to get them through it. So we didn't go out to Burlington to pick up the pictures we got taken a few weeks ago of the two of them, but when we do get around to getting them, I'll try to mail them out to all you relatives who like pictures. :)
David found out that he's likely to have his current job till the end of the year, but probably not beyond that. His company is being bought out by someone else. We've been thankful for this job, right in town, that he's had for this long - longer than any other tech job has lasted, actually; it will be 6 yrs+ if he stays till December. He's not sure what he'll do after that, but at least he has some time to look around.
Our weather in March has been, well, March weather. Today we had a high of 84 F at least. Tomorrow the low is supposed to be at least 39 F. Then back up to at least 60's Friday. I'm glad for the moderate weather, and that we've had a real spring so far. Some years it seems to jump from winter (such as we have here in central NC) to summer. Of course, spring brings beautiful flowering trees - which don't help David's allergies. He loves the warm weather, but has a hard time being outside for long with all the pollen in the air, especially as we haven't had a lot of rain.
2 sick kids today. Emily's just a little stuffy, and Katherine's more than a little stuffy. Thankfully they've been in fairly good spirits so far, not the miserable sick that prompts me to give Motrin to get them through it. So we didn't go out to Burlington to pick up the pictures we got taken a few weeks ago of the two of them, but when we do get around to getting them, I'll try to mail them out to all you relatives who like pictures. :)
David found out that he's likely to have his current job till the end of the year, but probably not beyond that. His company is being bought out by someone else. We've been thankful for this job, right in town, that he's had for this long - longer than any other tech job has lasted, actually; it will be 6 yrs+ if he stays till December. He's not sure what he'll do after that, but at least he has some time to look around.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
the wonder of mercy
Reading Revelation 15 about the 7 last plagues. I am amazed at how the majority of the world hates God and refuses to repent. Amazed that that would honor God - to have most of the world, today and in the future, to be so hostile toward Him.
I suppose the deeper the darkness, the brighter God's glory shines in His grace and mercy toward those He saves. With the backdrop of great darkness, His glory is magnified whether by wrath or mercy.
Then I am struck by mercy: why should I be among those shown mercy? Why am I given the privilege of peace with God, the gift of Another's righteousness, that I might be reconciled to the God I hated? Why am I granted, not only to serve the King of the Ages, but to be called His child and cherished by Him - when millions "make a wretched choice, and rather starve than come"?
Surely that is the grand mystery: grace! God may not grant me to understand why He is pleased to leave the world hostile toward Himself. But the mystery of grace is greater still. My little "pea-brain" (ala Dr. K) can let God be God, incomprehensible, almighty, all-wise; and rest in the wonder of grace shown to me, a sinner!
I suppose the deeper the darkness, the brighter God's glory shines in His grace and mercy toward those He saves. With the backdrop of great darkness, His glory is magnified whether by wrath or mercy.
Then I am struck by mercy: why should I be among those shown mercy? Why am I given the privilege of peace with God, the gift of Another's righteousness, that I might be reconciled to the God I hated? Why am I granted, not only to serve the King of the Ages, but to be called His child and cherished by Him - when millions "make a wretched choice, and rather starve than come"?
Surely that is the grand mystery: grace! God may not grant me to understand why He is pleased to leave the world hostile toward Himself. But the mystery of grace is greater still. My little "pea-brain" (ala Dr. K) can let God be God, incomprehensible, almighty, all-wise; and rest in the wonder of grace shown to me, a sinner!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
thorns
Learning the parable of the sower as a child, I always knew that I would be the good person, the fruitful soil. It was other people who did the wrong things and ended up as the bad ground.
But these days I find myself as thorny ground. How often I start the day with God, but then as it were, say good-bye after the "amen" and live my day without consciousness of His presence. The "cares and pleasures of life" (Lk.8:14) fill my thoughts, crowding out the good fruit, and I end the day wondering when I will ever learn to walk with God.
Somehow it is easier to serve God in the dark - under pressure - than it is when life is easy. When you are thirsty, you find that the broken cisterns of the world hold no water, and that only the Fountain of Life satisfies. You can have an easy life, or you can have close fellowship with God - but not both. No wonder that some persecuted Christians say, "Don't pray that our persecution will be removed, but rather that we would stand fast for God." They have learned that ease is the enemy of fruitfulness.
Why? because our hearts are so fickle by nature, so corrupt in Adam, that we love ourselves supremely when given the chance. We choose what most pleases the flesh. We have not yet learned that to love God supremely is the path of greatest joy and deepest satisfaction, though it may be the way most distasteful to our flesh. God has to put hardship in our lives to show us that our idols do not satisfy and to turn us back to Himself.
But these days I find myself as thorny ground. How often I start the day with God, but then as it were, say good-bye after the "amen" and live my day without consciousness of His presence. The "cares and pleasures of life" (Lk.8:14) fill my thoughts, crowding out the good fruit, and I end the day wondering when I will ever learn to walk with God.
Somehow it is easier to serve God in the dark - under pressure - than it is when life is easy. When you are thirsty, you find that the broken cisterns of the world hold no water, and that only the Fountain of Life satisfies. You can have an easy life, or you can have close fellowship with God - but not both. No wonder that some persecuted Christians say, "Don't pray that our persecution will be removed, but rather that we would stand fast for God." They have learned that ease is the enemy of fruitfulness.
Why? because our hearts are so fickle by nature, so corrupt in Adam, that we love ourselves supremely when given the chance. We choose what most pleases the flesh. We have not yet learned that to love God supremely is the path of greatest joy and deepest satisfaction, though it may be the way most distasteful to our flesh. God has to put hardship in our lives to show us that our idols do not satisfy and to turn us back to Himself.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Prayer meetings and babies
I often wonder when getting ready for prayer meeting on Wednesday nights - is it worth it? To take my tired, crying baby and leave her in the nursery, knowing that it's already past her bedtime, and that it will be 2 hrs past bedtime by the time we get her to bed tonight. When I'm weary and wondering if I'll even be able to stay awake to pray. When I know my kids will be extra tired tomorrow after going to bed too late tonight.
Yet with few exceptions, I am always glad in the end to have gone. To have met with God again in the midst of His people. To have had my vision refocused on the Things that Matter, drawn away from the near-sightedness of my own circumstances to see the Big Picture, the wideness of God's Kingdom, and the greatness of the needs of others as compared to my own.
I am strengthened by having touched base with my brothers and sisters, sharing the joys and struggles of their week thus far, and having someone to share my own joys and struggles with. I am encouraged by hearing of answers to prayer, rebuked for my prayerlessness and forgetfulness of others, and emboldened to ask greater things of my able and willing Father.
And though in the midst of weariness and tired children on Thursday, I may forget why I was glad I went to prayer meeting the night before, I always know in my heart that it was good for me to go.
Yet with few exceptions, I am always glad in the end to have gone. To have met with God again in the midst of His people. To have had my vision refocused on the Things that Matter, drawn away from the near-sightedness of my own circumstances to see the Big Picture, the wideness of God's Kingdom, and the greatness of the needs of others as compared to my own.
I am strengthened by having touched base with my brothers and sisters, sharing the joys and struggles of their week thus far, and having someone to share my own joys and struggles with. I am encouraged by hearing of answers to prayer, rebuked for my prayerlessness and forgetfulness of others, and emboldened to ask greater things of my able and willing Father.
And though in the midst of weariness and tired children on Thursday, I may forget why I was glad I went to prayer meeting the night before, I always know in my heart that it was good for me to go.
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